she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there was a trapeze. enough said
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
