Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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