I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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