I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
