i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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