Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
