Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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