Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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