I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I am mentally ready for anal.
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