oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
no you cant smoke seaweed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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