thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize