No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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