Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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