wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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