I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
