All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize