Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
did i just pee glitter
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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