I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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