All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
