HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
