when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
