i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
