During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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