It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
