I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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