I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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