The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
a search helicopter?!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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