saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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