youre lurking in front of me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
