he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
