Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
