The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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