I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
