i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
