oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
