Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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