im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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