She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
