I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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