The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
