I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
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Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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