I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
