We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize