I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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