If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
