so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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