I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
