i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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