i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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