Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
being pregnant is like rehab
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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