how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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