toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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