sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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