Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss

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  (847): True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss http://tfl.nu/8437
  Replies (22) Good night (5111) Bad night (539)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.

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  (450): Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting. http://tfl.nu/m2ej
  Replies (11) Good night (4381) Bad night (680)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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  (408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8
  Replies (41) Good night (6787) Bad night (1270)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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  (317): I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting. http://tfl.nu/kkkr
  Replies (25) Good night (3710) Bad night (2807)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Salt in an open wound right now.

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  (301): I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job. (704): How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore? (301): Salt in an open wound right now. http://tfl.nu/m9a1
  Replies (17) Good night (1608) Bad night (5141)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...

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  (620): Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me... http://tfl.nu/2n11
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (2373)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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  (308): You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants. http://tfl.nu/tdj1
  Replies (13) Good night (5355) Bad night (1098)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive

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  (804): i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive http://tfl.nu/za3r
  Replies (1) Good night (2850) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.

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  (208): i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful. http://tfl.nu/r6g5
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (1826)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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  (765): I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/jw9u
  Replies (17) Good night (828) Bad night (4216)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I could have done it in 2

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  (917): Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts. (978): I could have done it in 2 http://tfl.nu/64hz
  Replies (8) Good night (3194) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.

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  (585): Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now. http://tfl.nu/sd9m
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.

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  (832): He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby. http://tfl.nu/1j27
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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  (802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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  (352): I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!! http://tfl.nu/xhpg
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (317)

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