just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?