I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.