Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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  (703): i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/u7ul
  Replies (13) Good night (1060) Bad night (478)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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  (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/5lx0
  Replies (34) Good night (2083) Bad night (658)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(

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  (410): Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :( http://tfl.nu/bf6a
  Replies (6) Good night (856) Bad night (1628)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (769) Bad night (4036)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

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  (832): when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/63ss
  Replies (32) Good night (6801) Bad night (1062)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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  (503): The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone" http://tfl.nu/b2m1
  Replies (15) Good night (4731) Bad night (1335)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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  (401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set
  Replies (4) Good night (2535) Bad night (1442)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.

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  (810): I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm. http://tfl.nu/2iai
  Replies (9) Good night (1212) Bad night (3897)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1469) Bad night (1380)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?

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  (251): why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us? http://tfl.nu/6pdz
  Replies (3) Good night (1675) Bad night (508)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.

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  (631): Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving. http://tfl.nu/bkg4
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (609)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.

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  (218): I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over. http://tfl.nu/5car
  Replies (4) Good night (1523) Bad night (325)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth

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  (602): I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth http://tfl.nu/mes3
  Replies (4) Good night (235) Bad night (456)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk

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  (513): He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk http://tfl.nu/w9ix
  Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (310)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal

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  (870): Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal http://tfl.nu/uj9w
  Replies (9) Good night (731) Bad night (242)

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