Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Her vagina should come with caution tape.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"

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(503): View more from Oregon

When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

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(917): View more from New York City

Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.

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(772): View more from Florida

She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

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(858): View more from California

Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker

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