Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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