We're facebook friends in real life
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
